I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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