i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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