That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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