Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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