the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
