I wish I could punch you in the face.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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