I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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