i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
and she was petting her beer can
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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