my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
