Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
