Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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