Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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