Do you still have your period?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
