I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
