sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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