I wish I could punch you in the face.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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