So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
