Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
