it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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