there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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