Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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