garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
foreskin is a definite game changer
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
