Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
