Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
