Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
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Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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