Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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