When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
