he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
