Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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