he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
