By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize