Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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