I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
