I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
