You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦â€â™€ï¸
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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