I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
