he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
