The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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