the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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