Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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