i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
