how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
