apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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