I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
