where does the pee come out of this thing
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
