He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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