at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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