capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
