I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My dick has a subreddit
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
