YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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