ya dads aren't the best wingmen
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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