Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
