oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
