You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
