We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
