How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
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