Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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