The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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