This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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