wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
