so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
