so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
