I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
