Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
