Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She even gives head with a lisp.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We had to coat check the pizza.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
