But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
