You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
